you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just gift wrapped bread.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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