whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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