You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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