Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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