i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
