Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
