i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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