Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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