No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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