One girl and one boy is just not enough.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
