Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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