wanna go halves on a baby?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Randomize
