I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
