Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.