How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning