what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
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You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
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I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.