Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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