i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
