this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
