he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
last night I used snow as a chaser
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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