I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
