im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
