I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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