I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
