So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I want her autograph on my taint
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
