butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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