I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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