you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
