The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize