Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
