apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
