I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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