i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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