Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
