no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
