vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
