Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
