Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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