i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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