ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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