his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
