I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
