turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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