it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
