two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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