There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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