remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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