There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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