why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
