Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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