the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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