im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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