i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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