No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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