so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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