first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Randomize
